Januariad

The best thing I found was two men splayed out on the floor of the toilets. This was late on in the evening. I went to get Dad, and after examining their cuts and flowering bruises he decided they’d knocked one another out, or one had done the other and then passed out from the drink. We went and found the concierge and he arranged for both men to be carried to their rooms. They came from different families, which was a surprise. Why fight with a stranger?

There was also a boy of no more than three holding the centre in a circle of fifteen young women in high heels. I watched him, wearing socks and soft pyjamas, shove his way onto the dancefloor, and the ladies condensed around him. He twirled in unselfconscious glee, arms akimbo, while they applauded and whooped. From my table I could see him strobing between slender, white legs. I believe he was the groom’s nephew, but it was difficult to keep track. All I could think of was his view from that height.

Those that addressed the wedding (loudly into ears over showband tunes) spoke mostly of the earlier meal. Occasionally the bride was mentioned, or the speeches, or the temperature in the church. Once conversation strayed I heard nothing over the music, and spent much time nodding.

The bar could have been four times its length and it still would not have had enough room for all the suits trying to prop it up. A tidal swell occurred as the tables emptied and the area around the bar filled. Men huddled together in large groups, attempting through physical massing to create a shoal no dance-seeking wife could penetrate. They spoke longly and loudly enough to pretend to themselves that they were at the pub and not a wedding. Only those on the outside were taken by the arm and dragged away, and the bulk of the group survived.

We stood for the national anthem, of course. Most were already standing. After the band finished, the guests were thanked and a grill was pulled down over the bar. Dad drove us home, as we were only down the road and he wasn’t about to pay for a hotel room in the county he was born in. You could smell the pints on him, but you could also smell the sausages they’d put out at midnight, so it probably balanced out.